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Everyone around us was waiting with baited breath, leaning forward in their seats, watching as if to see if the lions would eat the gladiators in the arena.

Well, it was actually a more modern version of that moment Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas presenter at a conference posed an offer and a challenge.

Who wants to win $200?

Two contenders stepped up briskly and Angels seated across from each other at the table.

Are you familiar with arm wrestling? Yes? So heres the challenge. Im giving you 20 seconds to get the other guy's arm down on that table and if you do Ill give you 200 bucks. Ready? Go!

And the fists clenched, muscles seized and the hooting and hollering started immediately They had every intention of making sure the $200 was their own.

That moment was very like the ones that go on in offices, school hallways, and homes every day.

A challenge is posed. Two people who are sure theyre going after different sides of a win/loose battle have every ounce of energy poised. And everyone else leaps to take spectator seats, reinforcing the strategizing and maneuvering and battling.

As I watched I leaned over to the woman next to me and said out of the corner of my mouth They ought to go for broke!

What?

While adrenaline fed the clenched fists, frozen arms and straining necks at the front of the room, I said well, Ill get back to that in a second.

How many times a day do you get to watch a discussion turn into a battle over who will win?

At one of my clients, a manufacturer of industrial machinery, battle broke out between the head of Accounting and the head of Sales. A string of emails flashed back and forth for a month, each one longer, more heated and accusatory. And the President of the company was ccd on the series after weeks of this going on.

What do I do with this? Peeps asked me, tossing me page after page of print.

Change the conversation. I said.

What?

Im asked that a lot.

If you read the emails, each of them is insisting that their stand is the company policy. Your head of Sales says she struck a unique agreement with a new distributor in order to open the market in the northeast for your product, ahead of the competition. Shes guaranteed them commission payouts every 15 days. Your head of Accounting says payout on that schedule is against company policy and she wont do it. Are they Spiderman correct in their perspectives at this moment?

Yes.

Then change their conversation from competing to see who can forcibly win an argument, to HOW might this situation be addressed so that the company succeeds.

And the 3 of them sat down and in 6 minutes had ironed out their solution.

Dont tell me But Linda, thats obvious! Its common sense! Life and investment are about habits and adrenaline more often than theyre about common sense. I bet you could list at least 4 disagreements you overheard, or even participated in this past week.

Because no one started with the question What could success Captain Action like in this situation? and they certainly seldom pose the question with the other party at the table to join in.

When you look at the clenched fists of arm wrestlers, theyre identical to the joined hands of agreement. The only difference is the intention to win over the other person, or to create joint success.

How do I know? Well in addition to the tens, or is it hundreds of times Ive helped clients shift their conversation and their results, I did it there and then in the room.

He said 200 bucks for getting the arm on the table. He didnt put any limit on how many times. Work fast and work together and everyone wins.

She grinned.

And at the 20-second mark both their arms were still in the air.

The presenter grinned and said Anyone else want to try? And I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the table and headed for the front of the room.

As we sat ourselves down, he said I want to up the ante here. Before he went any further I asked Is that the total limitation arm touches the table top within the 20 seconds?

Yep, but this time, its for a 45-hour 15 week $2,997 course with me!

I confess.

We both smirked. I looked her in the eye and with a faint side-to-side wiggle of my head quietly said Fast and easy!

Ready? Go!

Remember 15 emails for 4 weeks and lots of anger versus 6 minutes and a solution?

Well, $5,996 in under 3 seconds.

Thats what we created before the rest of the room had a chance to start rooting. Both of our arms were down on the tabletop within the first 3 seconds, and then we relaxed and easily did it another couple of times while looking up at him as the 20 seconds expired.

Hands in the same position as the combatants, the difference was in the intention.

What is your intention? What is the success youre focused on creating?

2007 Linda Feinholz.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE?

You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Management expert, consultant, and coach Linda Feinholz is "Your Success Catalyst." Linda publishes the free weekly newsletter The Spark! to subscribers world-wide and delivers targeted solutions, practical skills and simple ways to boost professional and personal results. If you're ready to focus on your High Payoff activities, accelerate your results and have more fun at it, get your FR'EE tips like these visit her site at www.YourSuccessCatalyst.comwww.YourSuccessCatalyst.com

posted by blogginguaaikl  # 11:30 AM